What Was Lost

12 Mar

Currently reading this book. “A beautifully structured, funny and insightful story that speaks volumes about our obsessions with gain and our fear of loss.

This below I fully understand.

“Maybe you’re a little to young to remember; i worked at radio wyvern sound for fifteen years, various shows, but most people remember me for the final eight years there, when i did Romantica. It was a big show,  10 til midnight every weekday night – maybe too late for you back then. It had the 2nd highest listening figures after the breakfast show, and no one at Wyvern came close in terms of listener calls.

Can you play air that i breathe by the Hollies for my girlfriend Sarah, cause i love her more than i can ever tell her.

please can you dedicate alone again (naturally) by gilbert O’sullivan to my ex-girlfriend Jessica. It’s been 3 years now, Jessica, but I still love you and want you to know I’m waiting.

I want to request Reunited for my princess Meena. Tell her it will never happen again & i want her to fogive me.

Please play close to you for david and tell him that he is the only glue that can fix my broken heart.

We got more requests than we could ever get through. So much activity of the heart directed straight into my earpiece. Can you imagine that? Maybe you’re too young to understand. I was a lightning conductor for all this electricity. All these invisible currents that were shooting out across Wyvern region – I caught them all. It was hard to sleep at night knowing what was going on out there. I’d close my eyes and I’d feel the irregular beating of all these disturbed hearts. But my heart was not disturbed, my heart was still, so still I started to think that maybe I was dead.

Every night I dreamt of a place – do you know where I mean? Have you had that dream? Every night I dreamt of a place & I knew the place was death, and I’d wake up wringing with sweat, and there as I lay on the damp sheets I’d feel my limp heart beating just enough to tell me I was still alive.

The station bosses were deciding whether to shunt Glenn Rydale off the weekend nghtspots and extend Romantica to 7 days a week. It felt that even if we ran Romantica 24/7 we still wouldn’t get through all the requests – lovesickness seemed to be spreading. I think my heart was the only heart in Wyvern that was still.

Then more suddenly than I think you could imagine, it all stopped. 2 weeks. Thats not a long time, is it? In 2 weeks we went from total system overload to nothing. Friday 11th March 1983 – no one called. Some massive cardiac arrest, a monstrous coronary atrophy, ten thousand hearts silenced. I tried to bring them round, I pumped on the chest, I played songs that would make the dead weep, but the corpse was cold. Love was dead, and I never felt more alive. Can you understand that?

I lost my job, obviously, but within months I became the voice of Green Oaks. I never saw it as a step down. I tell the people of Green Oaks that spring is here, I tell them 49 shopping days till Christmas – perhaps you’ve heard me say that – I tell them that this season we’re looking to the East for inspiration – and I don’t feel dead. I tell them to enjoy 2 meals for the price of 1 in the food court before 12:30 and does anybody fell their heart beating strangely today? I ask if they ever phoned Romantica to request a song for the person standing beside them, who once took up their entire field of vision and now they can barely even see. I ask them if they ever got drunk and left a bar with a man twice their age and fell asleep with their head in his dormant lap. I ask them if they’ve considered the many advantages of a Green Oaks credit card and do they ever wonder what happened to love? I ask them all these things, sweetheart, but I never hear the answers.”

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